Subject: New Element Discovered

From: "J. Eric Slone" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 17:50:50 -0400 (EDT)

Scientists at the Rube Goldberg Research Institute have just discovered
an element made up of 312 neutrons per atom. The term atom is used
loosely in this case, because the new element has no protons or
electrons. This renders it completely impervious and inert. The proposed
name for element 312 is Administratium.

It appears to be held together by the forces of bureaucracy, which are
amazingly strong. This element does not decay, but reorganizes itself
spontaneously. Outermost neutrons are attracted to the center, and the
center becomes a black hole. This results in reorganization product
called Unobtainium, which is reputed to reside in storage areas and
warehouses.

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 J. Eric Slone                         George Mason University
                                       Department of Chemistry
                                       Fairfax, Virginia  22030-4444
 Internet:   [email-masked]
 Compuserve: 73757,2776                "True science teaches, above all, to
 Fax:        (703) 751-6639             doubt, and to be ignorant."
 Pager:      (202) 597-2373                               Miguel de Unamuno
 Voice:      (703) 461-7078
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